Sitting in the Madison airport, hours past when my flight was due to leave, I'm reminded of many things: patience really is a virtue; some people really care about their jobs and others really don't (avoid the ones that don't); and a skinny latte with sugar-free vanilla syrup is really delicious.
Getting ready to go during these past few days was a bit strange. My attempt to leave things in a convenient and hospitable state for those coming to Madison to replace me, and to live in my home, ended up feeling like erasing traces of me everywhere I was. My car now looks like a rental, my office on campus has a much bigger desktop than I remember, and many spaces in my home are sitting empty, waiting for new people to leave their mark for a while. Leaving for five months was never such a big deal… I lived in France for a semester, then a year, then two summers… but that was in my 20's when I had fewer roots to uproot. I've lived in my home for almost 20 years now and am obviously very attached to it, and I think IT is attached to ME. The quirks that I've developed over these years make it harder to move away, abandon it, because that old house depends on me, just as I depend on it. It's hard to leave those two cats too, like the house, they depend on me.
So why would I choose to spend five months away from home if I'm so attached to it (and it to me) and, if in all of this writing (this is the kicker) I have yet to express any excitement for what's to come? To be honest, I don't really know if I'm going to like living in Rennes and working for CIEE again. I'll do a great job, I know (I've done plenty of things I don't like). So maybe it's not where I'm going that's so important, it's where I'm leaving that makes this journey so interesting. I'm taking a break from a 12-year work routine, abandoning my home of 18 years, and leaving behind my love of 4.
Leaving Mark at home for this first month doesn't seem too challenging. We spend plenty of time apart, but in much shorter intervals. He'll be flying over in late January or early February (depending on how far the Packers take it this season). This first month without him will fly by and in our virtual age, we'll be in close contact via phone, email, Skype & chat. In fact, as I sit here in the airport, we have had 4-5 phone conversations, him on his computer checking the skies, and me walking from monitor to monitor wondering if I'm going to get out of Madison today. But still, I won't see Mark for a month and really don't feel too sad about that. Why is that?
It's a foggy start to the adventure. I know where I'm going, but don't know when. I know what I'm leaving behind, but don't fully comprehend why.
And pardon the quick ending here! We're going to leave NOW!! Have to run!
2 comments:
Hey Andrew,
I've been enjoying your posts--great writing! I really liked this entry--it's interesting that sometimes you have to leave something you love (like your home) to renew that love or remind yourself of it. Sometimes when we have a good thing, we forget how good it is unless we find ourselves (or put ourselves) in a different situation. Ciao!
Hey Becky,
Thanks for the feedback! You know, I haven't 'written' in a very long time. I want to make this more interesting but I think I'll have to wait for the interesting moments to present themselves. Taking this time to clear my head will certainly be a start! Thanks for readihg!!!
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